Did you ever ask: why do people judge each other?
Why would someone not knowing a person, not familiar with their story will from the first glance decide who a person is and even judge their moral stance. How can people get so easily swayed by majority’s opinions, influencers or even friends.
The answer is quite simple as it is hard to face- it’s all about comfort.
Basic biological need at first, shaping up to be one of the major moral vectors. It’s not about how hard it is to question the popular or influential opinion on your own. It’s about position in which it puts the one who dares to question.
Apart from comfort of our warm bed in the morning or nice bath after a tiring day; comfort of friends shoulder or comfort of family’s arms; there is a very special type of comfort which for many dominates the very important choices in communication- a comfort of being in the known. A comfort of sticking with what is familiar.
A good example of it is an immature and dangerous behavior which is constantly observed in schools- bullying. Where kids are being judged on how well their behavior fits into a known pattern, into familiar pattern, which for kids at that time is – the pattern of masses.
It is the time when exploration of social structures is just beginning and to undertake the most convenient position is to not stand out.
Unfortunately, not all adults decide to move on from that position no matter the education or exposure because the cocoon it provides gives an addictive feeling of safety. How can you go wrong if you stick to the known? Known being anything that they have been exposed to in surrounding environments as teenagers – whether it is culture, lifestyle, religion or even national diversity.
But it goes further than just well-known criterias that usually call for discrimination as definition. Personal discomfort caused by our own deep fears or insecurities that can affect our judgement of others severely without us even noticing.
When a presence of a person makes us uncomfortable we tend to take it as a sign, an inner voice, a 6th sense or however you call it. Some people even credit it to them being good judges of people when explaining how did they dislike someone instantly and why do they choose to stick to this opinion without giving any second thought. What is actually happening at this moment is them being dragged out of comfort zone by whatever this person is reflecting for them, facing the bigger picture, alternate opinions and life outside of “cocoon” that they have chosen.
Getting out of your comfort zone no matter how rewarding it may be if you will give in to it and embrace it, otherwise is a quite traumatic experience. It takes a toll on self-evaluation and in this game too often ego has the last say. Unfortunately for the other person, unknowingly they have triggered the painful inner struggle resulting in discomfort for someone else. And just like the case with killing the messenger, conscious blame falls entirely on them in attempt to protect fragile subconscious. In other words- person gets to be disliked because of someone else’s inability to authenticate them as “familiar”, “known”.
Such as, a person who likes to hide their true opinions will be guaranteed to dislike someone straightforward. Lack of comfort will call for resistance and justification of thereof. Which will lead to labeling the other person as “not a good person”.
You would think – how hard is it to differentiate discomfort from opinion based on weighing multiple factors. And yet it is. Because the systems our subconscious has in place to protect the cocoon of comfort are way too strong for many people to notice. And what’s even more important- will they even want to? Because as proven time and again, we are much happier looking at someone to blame for our discomfort rather than looking within.